This Jimmy Kimmel video that's floating around after Halloween is gold. Take a gander if you haven't already.
And when I say gold I don't mean that in like a "kids say the darndest things" sort of way, but more like "no wonder people are freaked out to have kids!" I got a good laugh out of it, especially those two little guys at the end, "You sneaky mom!"
I kept seeing it pop up on facebook as my friends would repost it, and I really couldn't stop thinking about the whole thing....it says a lot about what we think about kids here in the Americas. So here are my self righteous thoughts and some learning "opportunities", shall we say, that I saw.
What we can learn as kids:
I decided to use this video in a lesson on thankfulness I was sharing with 50 or so elementary kids last Sunday. I couldn't bring myself to show it to them, there were just too many examples of kids that needed more spankings and parents who were being jerks. But I told them how it went and that was enough, it was a good talking point.
We were talking about how we learn in 1 Thessalonians 5:18 to "give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you." We discussed what good and bad circumstances might look like. When we came up with a scenario that would be a bad circumstance we would play the glad game, and think of reasons we could still be thankful. Side note, today's kids don't know what the glad game is because none of them have seen Pollyanna. How are kids going to learn the moral code without watching Disney films from the 50's and 60's? Anyways, we all decided that packing the car to go to Disneyland and then having to cancel the trip because your little brother is barfing is a pretty bad circumstance, and still they had some pretty creative ways they could be thankful.
Having your parents steal your candy seems like a pretty bad circumstance to me. They agreed. I explained the video to them, that some parents tricked their kids as a joke because parents do that sometimes, (Santa, Tooth Fairy etc.) and they told their kids they'd eaten their Halloween candy. I had their attention then and I explained that the kids in the video just lost it. I described that they would scream, cry, fling themselves on the floor, punch the wall, throw things at their parents. Basically act like 2 yr olds. That's the comparison that automatically strikes disgust in the heart of the average 3rd grader. Then I explained that there were these two little boys at the end, bright shining stars who were upset but handled it totally different than the other kids. Instead of throwing a tantrum, they kept it together, and shared their disappointment with their parents but it wasn't like their life was going to end because the candy was gone. I thought that they had some perspective and probably realized that life was bigger than Halloween candy.
We talked about what it's like to be around a friend who's throwing a tantrum or treating their parents or teachers poorly, or who's just a brat. I asked who they'd prefer to spend recess with, the kids who threw himself on the floor screaming, or the kid who kept it together. It was unanimous, the latter. As you can imagine, the goal was to get the kids to consider what it was like for others around them when they chose to loose it, because we all have at one time or another.
So we had a great chat, and were motivated to find reasons we could be thankful, even if all of our Halloween candy was stolen. You have to start somewhere I guess before you start talking about thankfulness in the midst of great loss, like grandpa eating the rest of your birthday cake or something.
What we can learn as parents:
I'm not a parent, but here's what I'm thinking when I am one. I don't EVER want my kid to think it's funny, appropriate or effective to throw a tantrum. My guess is most parents would agree with me. Some just can't figure out how to pass the test their child is giving them, because from what I can tell it's crazy hard! So they give in and attribute it to a "phase". Then they video tape it and send it into Jimmy Kimmel so the rest of America can shake their heads and say "oh kids, can't live with them, can't live without them." And the whole thing gets normalized.
Just because it happens people, let's not say it's normal. A child may pee his or her pants, but that doesn't mean it's something we'll just shake our heads and throw up our hands. We'd be sad and embarrassed for our son or daughter if they kept on peeing their pants like an infant when they were 8 years old. Can't we say the same thing about kids pitching fits like an toddler?
We can all agree that this video is a unique circumstance. The kids were being provoked and that's a whole other ball of wax (Ephesians 6:4), but I don't really care what the issue is. If a child thinks that's an appropriate way to respond to their parent when they've been wronged, it's not an isolated incident because we all know kids can feel wronged a lot of the time.
Here's what I think when a kid lets loose like that;
- They're not in control of their emotions
- They don't recognize that their parents are the authority
- They don't fear any consequences that may come as a result of the behavior
- They have more power than they should
- They don't realize how ridiculous they look
I guess I figure it'd get isolating for me to have a child that flew off the handle on a whim. I'd feel insecure about it around peers, my kids may have a harder time making friends, and in the long run when the power is out of whack between parent and child other issues can brew that would cause riffs in our relationship. Mind you this is all hypothetical because I have a dog that I can't take on a walk without wanting to give away.
So maybe, like with a lot of things I'm making a big deal out of something I have no idea about. And I'm hoping when I have kids I'm right about something in here, but I'm willing to be corrected and I'm sure I'll have to learn about tantrums the hard way just like everyone else. But I want to commit to helping my kids conquer the dreaded tantrum, just like my parents had to with me. Because let's be honest, life's too short to be rolling on the floor screaming and losing your mind.
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